Ralph Waldo Emerson

The health of the eye seems to demand a horizon.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Oh no you d'int...

Woo yes indeed things have been moving full force. Where shall we begin?
Ah yes, I’m in Thailand.
“Huminah?”
“Wha?”
“Como?”
I know, I know, you’ve probably lost all faith in my competency as a autobiographical narrator, but listen, it took me this long just to figure out what the hell happened this last month. You're as up to date as I am.

So my mom mentioned in the last post that they dropped me at Lakewood Lodge to make a little promo video for their website. I was then going to hop back on the Flying Kiwi bus and do a little editing stuff for them before returning to Wellington and meeting up with my buddy Damon…

But then Hollywood came a-calling. Yes, my friends, I was lured into the trap of celebrity one day after arriving at the Lodge.

Way back in September I had gotten myself an acting agent in Auckland who had then proceeded to make promises of getting me a spot on Power Rangers before dropping out of communication for the better part of 7 months. Having totally forgotten about our little arrangement, it came as quite a shock when I received a call saying, “Kari, Lili here, have I got an opportunity for you! Give me a tinkle when you get a chance”. Ha. Tinkle. I love that they say tinkle in New Zealand.

Turns out she’d gotten me an audition for the leading female role in an ABC TV series that’s going to be filmed in NZ. Now, let’s think about this one: the role calls for a beautiful, long-haired brunette with an athletic body (read Evangeline Lily), excellent acting skills and, here’s the clincher, an American accent.

Now let’s not kid ourselves: in Hollywood a casting agent would read this description and think, “Oh, maybe there’s a cute best friend character we could slip Kari in for”. But no, we are in New Zealand, where the sole fact that my American accent is pretty damn believable made all the other “requirements” quite a bit less important.

So, after finishing my film for the Lodge people I got myself into Auckland to prepare for the audition I should not have gotten. It was actually quite a nice time, I stayed for the majority of the two weeks in a jungly area outside of town with a couple of guys who employ backpackers to do odd jobs around their house in exchange for accommodation and food. This, by the way, is a brilliant idea and one that I hope to mimic back in the states: you throw some sweet young backpacker into whatever corner of the house has some space and, in turn, they make you dinner, bake you tasty treats and do whatever crap job you’ve been putting off doing yourself. Yes. Everyone needs a backpacker.

But I digress…finally the big day came, I got myself as cuted up as I could while still looking “athletic” and “American” and gave my performance. Whereupon they said thank you, well done, next please. Sure, yes, you changed all your plans and schedule and dropped quite a bit of cash for these 15 minutes in a back room with a camera, but yeah, shoo shoo. The next girl looks like she’s done some Hawaiian Tropic modeling and you need to deal with some frizz issues.

How the hell do actors maintain any sense of self respect?

Oh that’s right. We don’t.

So off I flew back down to Wellington to stay a couple days with some friends before meeting up with Damon and cruising around the South Island for a couple weeks in a campervan. All the while I kept my cell phone on in case Hollywood decided to call…as of yet it seems they must be having some phone issues.

But I wasn’t fussed, I was busy hiking around and seeing many of the places that I first experienced back in September, October and December. How different they all were when I was just passing through and not trying to earn a buck. It was a really great way to say goodbye to the country that I had grown to love and definitely fun to eat at all those restaurants and do all those hikes I’d been meaning to.

Two weeks and lots of hikes, learning to drive stick shift, hours of Flight of the Conchords watching/mimicking, fishing for the first time and watching sunsets later; Damon was off on a hellish journey back to Boston and I was setting my sights on Bangkok.

Oh dear god. I will save you from the grisly details of the 40 hour journey but let me just say: planning ahead may actually be a good idea. I’m looking into it. I’m now out a few hundred bucks but have built lots of character from the journey. Lots of character.

But it’s now nearly 8am on Tuesday morning and the new adventure has begun. I’m a bit wary because I know it will be a very challenging place, but that’s exactly what I want. New Zealand was so safe and accommodating and familiar; thus far Thailand has been none of the above. But the stories will be good, and I guess that’s really the point, eh? So I’m off to follow my nose, to ride an elephant, to sample as much curry as humanly possible and have a freaking amazing time. Much love to all.

5 comments:

Wells said...

If I remember correctly, Bangkok is not the sort of place where following one's nose is a good idea. Just saying.
Also: Damon pawned your camera and your laptop. Sorry.

Mom said...

He seemed like such a nice young man. Oh well. Make sure you check out the jewelry street. Pop Pop brought back some really cool stuff to Namu and me when he came back from his year long tour of Thailand. Make sure you don't order the duck feet soup. Pop Pop said that was disconcerting. He just kept imagining all the places they had walked before they came to be in his soup.

Kari said...

funny, I have yet to see any legless ducks. Perhaps they have special grassy knolls for them to roll around in.

Carol said...

Yeah, I think they keep them with the tailless oxen. It's a lovely place I am sure.

Carol said...

Sparky,where are the pictores? Tubs